“I like you, just as you are” – Mark Darcy

When, in a relationship, does the time come to kick back, chillax and not worry about appearance? There are many differing opinions on this and I’m curious to hear what other people think. For me, I don’t think there’s ever a time to chillax and not worry about appearance. Actually, I don’t think worry is a good word here. Consider is better. I don’t think there’s ever a time when one shouldn’t consider their appearance. This, of course, doesn’t include times of illness, sorrow or distress. In general, though, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with striving to look good for the person you’re with.

Does this mean I don’t think a man will love a woman, “just as she is” if she doesn’t look hot 24/7. That depends on the individual. For most people, love is love, and when you fall in love you fall and begin to see that person through rose-colored glasses. Their flaws seem to miraculously diminish. I don’t think it is–at least it shouldn’t be–a matter of love. This should be the icing on an already scrumptious cake! It’s wanting to be the woman your man fantasizes about; wanting to be his (can’t think of a sexy woman who men fantasize about–maybe Carmen Electra…did I spell that right?!?) Carmen Electra. I want the man in my life to be excited about me on all levels, not just an emotional one. By the way, this doesn’t include first thing in the morning. lol 

This does not take into account those goofy men out there who have completely unreal visual expectations of the women they are with. No female I know wants to walk around every day looking like a video vixen in 4 inch stilettos and stripper clothes!!!

So, what say you? Everyone has been of like mind on my previous posts, but I suspect there will be some differing opinions on this one. 

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3 Comments Add yours

  1. Carmen says:

    Okay … I will be the first to respond. In our age generation there are many body shapes and sizes. We can all be sexy in our own way. Maybe I’m not skinny like you (and haven’t been since 1990) and I don’t foresee me being a small girl ever again. (half in part due to 2 C Sections and looking at my family “shape” history there are NO small people over the age of 20) But, I do feel sexy MOST of the time. I don’t wear make up every day. I don’t wear clothes that match at home. I go for comfort. (My career of choice does not allow me to wear high heels everyday. I am on my feet from 8am – 8pm sometimes)
    I know that my man gets frustrated with my lack of ability to make it to the gym every day… heck even every other day. I know me having 3 paying jobs is frustrating as I have to rush from one to the other. I know he doesn’t complain when I put a hot meal on the table. But I do know that on his way out the door this morning at 530am, he came back to kiss me (Yes, I have mascara running down my face, bed head, and a green shirt with red/white/and blue PJ pants) He looked me in the eyes and said “I love you”
    So, I have to differ with you on this one babe.
    I do agree … you are one sexy lady. But, I love you anyway.

    1. Everybody has to do what makes them happy! Plus, you’re hot anyway AND you exude confidence. And nothing is sexier than confidence!

  2. Shelley says:

    Mmm, I think I will weight in on this cause well I am up! But I am not skinny, really I am not, I am not fat or even out of shape, but not skinny either. So, I love the heels, and the short skirts and the drama of a little goth in my life. I also love to lay about in my sweats and eat ice cream on the rare rainy day (life in the southwest). My boyfriend doesn’t complain either way, he buys me odd jewerly and tells me my messy bun looks good or when my do has been whiped into submission by my stylist he likes that too. So, maybe its a degree thing? Do the basics and a man is going to be happy with you: clean hair, clear soft skin, smell good, mani and pedi, no holes in the clothes. Weight, hair length, and designer labels negotiable. What do you think?

    Oh and BTW, you are one of my favorite authors! 🙂

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